“If you do not live what you believe, you will end up believing what you live.” - Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
Our family didn't have a strong religious tradition. We called my ourselves Lutheran but I didn't really understand what type of Christian that was either. Living a moral life wasn't really discussed but right and wrong were. The obvious distinction is making decisions that are ordered to God. At 15 I was confirmed in the Lutheran church and I chose St. Paul as my saint. I think our tradition was definitely modeled after the Catholic Church. 45 years have passed but I remember really liking Pastor Dan and I remember having thoughts about becoming a pastor.
The next ten years were promiscuous and frankly I missed some potential relationships because I was single minded on what I wanted out of the relationship. At the age of 24 my ex girl friend had to come and tell me that our post break up connection had resulted in pregnancy. We were about to start out just like our parents and so the planning and preparation began. She wanted to wait until after our son was born to get married. He was born in April and we married the end of August, 38 years ago.
At 25 there was no hesitation in my mind, you get married in a church. My soon to be wife had grown up with a Catholic tradition so I began to meet with our young new priest to become a member of the Catholic Church. I don't remember much except a chalkboard and since I was confirmed in the Lutheran church that put me 80% there, I guess.
It was another 15 years before a really began to learn, accept, and study the sacramental life of the church and its creed. It wasn't from one source but it was saying yes to "Fonts and Pints - Inspiration from Letters and Libations". There wasn't someone or someplace that I was paying attention to and the path I was on. My mentor Deacon Thom put it this way in his 6 steps;
"The Path; most individuals and organizations get stuck in process. We have a process for this. We have steps for this. We have one two threes. We have functionality, but they miss the path. The path are the things that guide us to where we're going. They're the things that come to us naturally, I call them “meant to be's”. And while I'm looking at what I'm doing from a process standpoint, I miss these opportunities that come. The path is taking the steps toward what's coming to you. Not just trying to figure out the things I need to do to get to where I don't know I'm going." - Deacon Thom Winninger
The sacrament of matrimony and how I understood it showed up on my path one day when my niece, whom I had been her sponsor for when she was confirmed in the Catholic Church, asked me to preside at her wedding. It was kind of an informal ask and I remember thanking her for thinking of me but as a Catholic I could not do that and she and her fiancé needed to get married in the church. It seemed straightforward at the time but manifested for me a crisis of the heart when she chose the path to get married outside of the Church. The complete story is long but I could not attend her wedding as a practicing Catholic.
My path now includes a house divided. It's a cross I have to bear with so much more to the story being lived to this day. My niece's marriage lasted 3 years and as I write this the fruit of the union turns two.
Please pray for her, our families, and me. My story became even more painful in my duty as father of the bride. Saying yes when you mean no.
My Dad sang Paul Stookey's "The Wedding Song" at many weddings. Family friends had him sing at all four of their children's weddings.
